Getting in the Gap
Why do we procrastinate? Is it just a spiral of boredom, or is it our need for respite? Can boredom guide us to an intuitive hit of the creative? I believe it can and often does.
Why, when I think of the word procrastination does it churn up feelings of unworthiness? Like I’ve just done some dirty act only a confessional is worthy of. Maybe because the literal term, which is ultimately defined by us (culturally), means to delay through laziness.
“To delay or postpone doing something that should be done, often through laziness or apathy”.
Thank you Wikipedia, for that version that so eloquently gets to crux of my unworthiness. If I am being honest in how I believe - it’s that boredom is what can often trigger the inspired ideas, as I let my mind lounge in the gap of nothingness, And, if I know this is the case, why do I feel the need to label, define and divert so called boredom when its actually happening. Our social structures are relentless in shaping our mindset on this issue, but we do have agency.
But let’s get into it, as I have reiterated this point in other blogs and now I’d like to take it a step further and address the shame behind the antiquated cultural standard of the doing in our society, that seems engrained into our programmed subconscious.
You see, it's all about that hustle culture that upholds civilization's standard narrative. Keeping up with the jones’s is no easy feet in our economic climate these days.
I used to watch movies, where the theme often portrayed people loungingly, lavishing in the ‘doings of nothing’. Porch sitting and fanning themselves (because usually they were in the south), while watching some swamp creature crawl out of the woods. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was living vicariously through them.
I feel this is a good time to insert a movie review - "Beasts of the Southern Wild” five stars. Lots of lounging and lavishing in the swamps of the south.
Anyways, I was so drawn to these movies I realize now, because that ease of life was what was missing for me or at least the lack of judgment for it was. These people were just sitting there - doing nothing, whether it was watching the swamp creatures or Karen their neighbor take out the trash, they were not feeling shameful about it. That was clear to me. Us United States Mericans’s like to call it being lazy. I realized later this was a cultural narrative when I decided to travel and realized most Vietnamese also took pleasure in these siestas unbeknownst to us. It was wild to see hammocks strung up behind shops and restaurants, where they would take their afternoon naps shutting down after they had done a few transactions or made lunch for themselves. ‘How could they?’ I thought to myself, as I grinned from ear to ear relishing in their so-called laziness!
I would also, at times, sit with my husband's mother in Vietnam, while she peeled or sliced fruit with a pocket knife and just chatted and stared off into the abyss of neighborhood meanderings, while stray dogs would pass by requesting some pats and a juicy treat. The men would also take to their local cafes, all afternoon. Sipping and watching the world go by. What a luxurious life I thought! All of this brings me around to the idea and term I have recently coined in the Intentional Living community. A term I like to call ‘focused rest’. Because if you don’t segway into it in baby steps an outright rejection within the psyche occurs. But oxymoronically the focused part is to focus on doing nothing, absolutely nothing. My Vietnamese husband, who was the ultimate focused rester’ being Vietnamese and a layman Buddhist, would often scold me about my lack of real rest in life, as I would grab my phone and head for the bathroom (yes, I know this is unsanitary and gross, but I’m human!).
Now you may be thinking that meditation is somewhat similar and it is, but even within meditation, if guided, we aren’t truly gettting to the heart of what focused rest is about, although I know ther have been moments in meditation that warrants the same outcome.- it’s those times you are sitting there as the observer with nothing but the faded melancholy of the dimmed lighting taking up your senses, and some unwarranted past heartache comes bubbling up to the surface. It is where your conscious ramblings are reorganising themselves and for those of you with insomnia driven my relentless thoughts before you drift off to sleep at 2am this is why. This is the only time NOTHING is coming in. Absolutely nothing. And in saying all this the more you can practice this kind of rest without you may even start to notice the shameful social narrative that bubbles up in regards to doin it and when you get to that point, You can actively take a stance against the pre programmed belief by challenging this thought… but you have to get there first and this takes ‘focused rest’. Real focused rest.
Once you get to the place where the shame doesn’t show up or is easily dismissed…. This is where the magic happens! This is where reflection and pain come to head and the purging and resetting of the subconscious easily flows. Thomas Edison and Salvador Dali both, used this tactic to ignite their creative juices, getting into a hypnagogic state. According to Bret Stetka and Gary Stix of SCIAM,
“A study published in 2021 in Science Advances reports that we have a brief period of creativity and insight in the semilucid state that occurs just as we begin to drift into sleep, a phase called N1, or non-rapid eye movement (non-REM) sleep stage 1. The findings imply that if we can harness that liminal haze between sleep and wakefulness—known as a hypnagogic state—we might recall our bright ideas more easily” (Stetka & Stix, Spark Creativity with Thomas Edison’s Napping Technique, 2021).
I believe in focused rest we often get to this state, whether we label it sleeping or not. I have also used the term getting in gap, (not coined by me) to drive home this idea of nothing in, but lots out! These doing nothings arent’t trully ever really ‘doing nothing’ now are they. SO use that narrative to shush your shame brain!
After, my two year stint in Vietnam, I was a changed rester’, but recently after being in the US for the past few years, the hustle culture of busy is creeping back in and it’s taking its toll on my psyche.
I am ready to be bored more often again and let go of that shame! Time for some journaling and senseless focused resting time!
Let’s help keep each other acountable! Check out our local events.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/thomas-edisons-naps-inspire-a-way-to-spark-your-own-creativity/
