Inspire Deep Connections
From an early age I can remember identifying this value of connection in almost every facet of my life. I would consistently ask myself why. Why does this matter to me, in life or to the world at large? I never realized how this value would transpire to form the incredible connections I’ve had throughout life. One of the things that has remained consistent are the deeply authentic friendships I’ve created. Even in creating this nonprofit the soul purpose has always been to facilitate connection. The importance is starting to catch up in the scientific world as well. Studies showing that lifespan can be extended as much as up to 50% because of it.
“The people who were happiest, who stayed healthiest as they grew old, and who lived the longest were the people who had the warmest connections with other people,” said Professor Robert Waldinger, the current director of the study.”
So why are deep connections so important in life?
The self awareness that we can acquire during authentic relationships can only be described as otherworldly or existential. It goes beyond just seeing yourself in someone, it’s the emotions that are extrapolated from intense longing and desire from empathy. Because, don’t we most often feel empathy for those we are close too? Their pain is our pain and vice versa. As we move along in life, often times we find a partner or friend that pushes what it means to love someone unconditionally. We may have bouts of doubt and revert to leaving the relationship only to come back to it later realizing our expectations should be with ourselves, not the other person. Take them as they are so to speak and in taking them as they are, we dive into the unconditional love part, that is also a facet of deep connection garnering a surreal experience, because this is where we can learn to love ourselves and create boundaries.
Not only is self awareness and unconditional love a part of this equation, belonging is as well. In the throws of often comparing ourselves to others we hardly know, we forget about our most perfect imperfections. When we can see others so called faults or failures we understand that we are allowed to fail and be imperfect ourselves. We allow for humanness and that brings a belonging we feel that connects us to the great collective conscious. We can also challenge each other in this deeply flawed humanness, or we can inspire each other, to maybe not let go of that dream once desired. Or maybe within these connections we inspire someone to reconfigure a dream or goal, to better fit a narrative that’s not causing distress. There are so many narratives that warrant deep connections.
There is also a magical way longterm relationships elicit from us an inner sense of childlike play. When we reach a certain level of depth, we get to relish in the playfulness of calling each other out on the bullshit. We can get to a place where we are no longer offended, and instead can laugh about a truth that is brought up, in complete sincerity. This kind of connection is no less than what I would describe as joy.
The familiarity of inside jokes help us to feel there is something irrevocably authentic about those connections as well. No other two people or group will experience these same inside jokes or ways of playfulness. I had this in mind when creating the playful pastimes events. I have a friend who is very competitive and like me she loves to redirect and keep everyone on point with the games. It’s a joy to watch her get into this groove and tease her about it. When we become familiar with each other, we feel safe enough to let it all hang out, and the teasing doesn’t feel like the sting that it could be, in another predicament. We start to feel emboldened to show up authentically, and the more we do this the deeper our connections expand.
When we connect deeply this allows our circle to grow inadvertently as well. After attending a friendsgiving recently and meeting some new faces, I felt connected to people I barely knew, after singing at the top of my lungs with them during karaoke. When we meet friends of the friends we already trust we can for the most part let down our guard, only in cases where you don’t fully trust your friends would this not be the case. But if it wasn’t the case I would argue you might need to rethink your connections.
'‘People who are well socially connected, also live longer than those who are isolated. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation,” Paul Waldinger
I think deep down we all recognize, in the end, how we show up in these deeply held connections is truly what matters. Be unapologetically ‘eager to give and receive love’ (FTI mention). Be so authentically you, that if you ever decide there is nothing that matters in life, you can call upon a friend and let them know that this is exactly how you feel, and know that you will be loved, unconditionally.
FTI (Free Thinker Institute) - https://www.freethinkerinstitute.org/#learn-more
https://www.weforum.org/stories/2023/08/relationships-basis-long-healthy-life/#:~:text=“Clearly%2520research%2520suggests%2520that%2520good,current%2520director%2520of%2520the%2520study
